Listening to Man will Make You Question..... excerpt from my "Weekly Scriptures" Page

Goals. Many of us have things we want to accomplish in life and sometimes it feels like we have a few steps that run together or back-to-back. It can be hard to decide if it all has to be done right then, can some thing wait? We wonder if by doing so we ruin the chances on what was put off. We wonder if we have anyone supporting us. And just where or how can we stay focused. 

I have recently returned to complete my last semester of college. An internship. I also needed a job and like spending time with my children. I also need to attend services with my spiritual family (the Church) for my souls sake. I also am married and need to attend my relationship with my husband. I also want to write a book someday...... BUT is there enough of me to go around? My support system I thought I had did not understand what I was going through. They told me to quit! They tested the balances of my marriage. They made me feel like a bad mother for wanting to provide better for my family's future. People that said "call me if you need anything!" they could not be bothered. I felt like I was being pushed from everything I knew and loved to an island of loneliness and wonder. I started to second guess my goals and if God would even get me through. I knew that he "could," but was I worth the effort?

I wasn't going to mention my struggle so soon. And to be honest, the dust is settling and I am doing better at being focused in all that I do. However, I read a scripture this morning and it brought it all back to mind and I realized why I felt the way I did. I was listening to the people who said I shouldn't try. I was upset that when I needed help those people were unavailable. I look back and realize I lost focus and I did not acknowledge that it was God's vision of me that mattered most and His help that I should have relied on. I am sincerely sorry that I took others actions to heart the way I did. I am NOT sorry that I did not quit on my goals (even if I had to put off some tasks i.e. being consistent with this blog).  I'll share the scripture below:

"The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in th LORD shall be safe. Many seek the ruler's favour; but every man's judgement cometh from the Lord"

--Proverbs 29:25-26

Watering my Faith

Sometimes things happen to test our faith. I most certainly feel that my faith is being tested right now. I am determined to hold on. It's prayers and speaking good over and into myself that's helping me. This morning thoughts were going through my mind and here's what I had to say to myself today:

Despite the horrors of our yesterdays (years etc)

despite nightmares that appeared in our realities.....

God is able to heal and renew us (even in ways we would not imagine). 

Do not lose hope. Do not lose faith. 

Do not let the enemy talk you out of that mustard seed portion of faith you're holding on to. 

People do not realize the extent of your trials, 

but that is how it should be. 

When it is over, 

you will have that life changing testimony that God meant for you to share. 

You will have the credentials that cause an unbeliever to try the Almighty in his/her own life. 

Yes, it is hard -but all things are possible with God.

Are you grateful for those life changing testimonies you've heard? 

Don't you want to experience God for yourself? 

Don't you want to see how you look as gold when you come out of this fire?

It's not those who start the race that get the reward,

it's those who finish.

**I cannot be the only one being tested, I am sure. If these words resonate with you, please let this be an encouragement to you. We shall and we will get through, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Ending 2015

December 31, 2015 I attended Watch Service at my church.

As the time went by, I grew more and more emotional and so many thoughts were going through my mind. I couldn't keep singing, I stopped and I wept!! I wept because I know I don't know what the future holds. I wept because I was afraid of losing people that I care for. I wept because I don't want to make the same mistakes in a new year and maybe I am leaving 2015 without blessings I should have by now. I scribbled out letters to God and I just couldn’t stopped crying.

I decided to make lists. (I love lists)! One list was titled 2015 and underneath I jotted some of the amazing things that happened or that I did that I had never done in years prior. The next list was titled 2016 and underneath it was a mini prayer to God. It actually cheered me up some. I know that all things have always and will always "work together for the good of them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).

While I did not foresee the good that came in 2015, the days still had come and gone. I do not know all that 2016 has to offer, but on this January 1st I claim more good days --in Jesus name. I want all the God has planned for me.

Ecclesiates 3:1 "To everything there is a season, and a time to every person under the heaven."